You really coming over, don't trick.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
