Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
