Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
