why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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