Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Girls should come with a carfax report
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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