Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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