How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
