Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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