do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
