Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
