so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
