she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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