I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
