Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
