youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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