He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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