theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
