Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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