I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
