why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
