Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
