So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
