Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
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