so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize