That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i think i just lost a toe
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
