it wasn't lemon gatorade
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
