were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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