'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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