she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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