My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
