The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
