no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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