So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
