chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
