pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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