look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
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