Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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