Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she peed on how many people?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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