you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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