Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
