i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
