eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
