Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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