lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
