omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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