if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
