We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
