Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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