I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
