i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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