i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm too high and old for this...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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