dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
