I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
