NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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