I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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