Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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